The Purpose Behind Positive Community Through Infertility
I never felt more lonely, misunderstood, overlooked, and minimized than during my time through infertility and miscarriage.
Outside of my prayer time, I didn’t know who to talk to. My family has always been my biggest supporters; along with my husband. Even though they were tremendous supporters, unless you’ve experienced the pain
and uncertainty, it is difficult to completely relate & fully encourage someone going through infertility and/or a miscarriage.
I often felt like people overlooked how difficult struggling through infertility can be. There is SO much to it, that again, unless you’ve been through it, it is difficult to comprehend.
Trying to start a family with infertility assistance is tolling, in every way! There could easily be a book written about all the things you have to figure out with needles, medications, accurate amounts of medication with the correct needle, remembering to take them, taking them on time, traveling with them, the pain and side effects, praying they WORK…
Your life can be so easily consumed by the infertility process.
There is so much to the process that people don’t understand. I fully get that. I don’t expect everyone to understand the Infertility journey. But, despite there being so much to the infertility process that people don’t understand, I felt so uncared for when people didn’t try to comfort me through it. Whether their distance was due to the fact that they weren’t personally affected by it, didn’t relate to it, or that it was too much to comprehend, it was still hurtful.
Especially in a Christian community, as we are called to carry each other burdens (Galatians 6:2), and weep with our brothers and sisters who are weeping (Romans 12:15).
This is essentially why I started Miracle Growers. There are too many women and couples going through this excruciating process, feeling more overlooked and lonelier than ever. Infertility is becoming very prevalent today, and we are in need of infertility and miscarriage support that is positive and encouraging, with God in the center. While the infertility and miscarriage process is extremely difficult and should not be in any way diminished, I have found more support that is centered around women wallowing in negativity and hopelessness versus finding uplifting exhortation that helps them feel peaceful, despite these terrible circumstances.
I became completely in love with and in awe of God through infertility and miscarriage. It was not easy, whatsoever. It was flat out HARD. Super hard.
God convicted me, brought me to my knees, stripped away my pride, and didn’t let me settle for a life of mediocre living for Him. And I’m SO thankful He did that out of His Love for me.
Now, just to be clear- I do NOT claim to have journeyed on the toughest infertility/miscarriage road; there are some women that suffer through infertility and miscarriage for years. I am very aware of and extremely sensitive to that. But, I know God has molded me so deeply through my struggle with infertility and miscarriage. I know He’s pruned me through those struggles, in order for my heart & life
to be used for Him; to encourage, uplift, and just BE THERE as a sister in Christ for other women.
Infertility and miscarriage made a miracle out of me; I was completely sculpted with a new Spirit through this struggle, all while I was praying for God to conduct a completely different miracle altogether.
It had always been on my heart to help women through infertility. I met with the church I attend to try to begin such a ministry. I thought of writing a book, starting a foundation.. but, I didn’t know exactly what it would look like until God gave me a very clear vision.
I want to give intentional prayer time all the credit it deserves, here. Can God work through you, for you, for others, and speak to you even when you’re not in a consistent prayer routine? Duh! Of course He can. He can do absolutely anything (Matthew 19:26). But, I do believe, our hearts and minds are shaped, to be aligned with His Will, as you spend more and more time with Him.
About a month and a half before our IVF cycle when trying to conceive for Baby #2, God spoke to me in prayer. He made it very clear that He would not allow our IVF procedure to work. This was all for His Glory, and in order for me to relate to more women, struggling through the Infertility process. He also gave me a word, and vision, regarding a ministry. The name of the ministry He was calling me to start was meant to be ‘Miracle Growers’. It's ‘slogan’ was to be ‘Infertility God’s Way - Becoming a Miracle While Praying for One’.
It was a LOT to process in that moment. However, when I discovered at seven weeks pregnant, on our four-year wedding anniversary, that I had miscarried, I knew this miscarriage, after an IVF procedure, was meant
to be a catalyst for things to come.
Before, and even after I miscarried, I had never been more in tune with God and The Spirit. I was so hungry for Him. I desired Him more than ever, and I was getting a taste of what living for The Lord was truly like (this will look different for every person in the world. God has called us all to live for Him, but to serve Him in different
ways). I deserve no credit. The Lord was the One who worked through me and gave me this hunger and peace.
After I miscarried, my husband and I were devastated. Completely heartbroken. At the same time, God still gave us so much peace. It was so far beyond explainable, that I still tear up while I write that sentence.
We cried after miscarrying. I cried a lot. I was experiencing a lot of emotions, yet I couldn’t explain how deeply rooted in peace I was. I know, it was God’s faithfulness, and His devotion to us, that was allowing this peace; The Spirit was moving, so prevalently. We honored Him through obedience and prayer for so long, and I know He was honoring that, as well.
I am so thankful for His willingness to give us a humble perspective. We are even more grateful that The Lord enabled us to remain faithful in knowing that He is good, always, no matter what. God opened our hearts, through grief, to understand that our baby is now with Him, and more loved in Heaven than they ever could have been loved here on earth. We joyfully await the day we can meet our baby, knowing they are joyfully expectant to meet us, as well. As impossible and as tough as it is to swallow, that outlook has given us steadfast peace in The Lord.
Having this peace through the struggle of infertility and miscarriage birthed a new desire in me; to bring women to know The Lord so deeply and intimately, that they too, can experience peace beyond comprehension and explanation, during these hardships. I cannot imagine, going through that pain, without knowing The Lord. I really cannot imagine going through that process without knowing He is always a good Father, Who works all things together for good, regardless of whether I feel like it or not.
God is always working. Even when we can’t see it. That is fact. And we need to believe and rest in that. Jesus never promised this life would be easy when we follow Him. In fact - He promises us hardships (John 16:33)! But, He does promise, that even in the hardship, He is still working FOR us, and He always has blessings in store for us (Romans 8:28). We MUST partner in this belief to live a life of peace that glorifies The Lord, and to see His goodness come to life.
That’s why I started Miracle Growers. To encourage women to depend on The Lord through the pain. To grow with Him. To comfort them. To be a sister, and a friend. To try to be someone who understands, and to give them a safe, loving place to be supported by other women struggling with this hardship, too. To gently remind them, that even through these valleys, we can take heart, because this world, that is full of disappointments, is not our home. To remind them that God loves them, so deeply; to be a vessel of His love, and to keep this at the forefront of our minds, that we are here to make an impact for His Kingdom; for eternity.
I want to help you look back on the difficulty, and the pain, and to help you see that in a time of such anguish - THIS is where you truly grew to know God’s tender, loving, ever-so-good heart better than ever.
I hope Miracle Growers is only just a part of how God begins to work through you. Miracle Growers may be a platform for support and love, but The Spirit is the ultimate miracle worker, and the One that deserves all credit.
I pray Miracle Growers is a place of genuine comfort, and encouragement for you. I hope it sparks a profound hunger for God, and you feel loved by Him and other sisters in Christ more than you ever have.
Our Lord will never let you down. Trust me when I say, I can proclaim this boldly through experience. And that is an understatement.